Brand Autopsy

Santa's Awful Marketing Pick-Up Move

Skyon, the marketing pick-up artist we love to hate, sent me this cartoon ditty with a little note that read, "Looks like Santa needs to learn the proper Marketing Courtship Process."

Marketing Courtship Sequencing Traps

While John is away, Skyon, a master marketing pick-up artist, will be sharing his provocative approach to attracting customers and earning transactions from them.

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To refresh our memory, the Marketing Courtship Process happens in three steps. Step 1 is about capturing the Attraction of customers. Step 2 is building a Connection with customers. Step 3 is the earning of a Transaction. That’s the three step process to courting a customer. But marketers must follow each step in the sequence. Any move outside of this sequence will not meaningfully earn the transaction from a customer.

The two most common Marketing Courtship Sequencing Traps I’ve seen marketers fall victim to are (#1) starting at the end of the process and (#2) getting stuck in the middle of the process.

TRAP #1: Starting at the End
When marketers start at the end by asking for the transaction before capturing attraction and without building a connection, they end up seducing customers. The seduction of customers results in a slew of issues, namely buyer’s remorse. When customers are triggered to make an impulse purchase, they may regret buying the brand. They may feel as though they have been hoodwinked into buying something they were never attracted to in the first place.

Remember, for lasting relationships with customers, transactions must be earned. They cannot be forced.

TRAP #2: Stuck in the Middle
Many times marketers will successfully capture the attention of their customers and then successful build a connection with those customers. But the brand fails to express its transactional interest with the customer. Instead, the brand continues the tango of getting to know the customer. The brand essentially becomes a “friend” to the customer who feels comfortable sharing insights with the brand but not willing to share the money in their wallet with the brand.

If a brand fails to express a transactional interest with a customer, then the brand risks being stuck in the “Neutral Zone” where money for product is likely not to happen.

More to come …

** END OF PART FIVE **

The Marketing Courtship Process

While John is away, Skyon, a master marketing pick-up artist, will be sharing his provocative approach to attracting customers and earning transactions from them.

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Let’s recap. Marketing is more similar than dissimilar to the craft of a Pick-Up Artist. (Yeah, I know … this sounds odd, but it rings truer than most of us marketers care to admit.)

Seducing customers usually results in a one-night brand stand. (The walk-of-shame comes into play here disguised as “Buyer’s Remorse.”)

To gain a customer, a brand must be willing to lose a customer. (This is simply a provocative way of saying brands must have a strong point view and if that strong point of view turns off some customers … so be it, because it will conversely turn on some customers.)

And we’ve also learned that too many marketers think pick-up lines work. (Wrong. Pick-up lines in advertising only make brand look desperate just as pick-up lines make bar flies look desperate.)

What does work you ask. Well, what works is following the Marketing Courtship Process of ATTRACTION >> CONNECTION >> TRANSACTION.

To develop a transactional relationship with a customer a brand must first attract the attention of a customer and then start building a connection with a customer. From there, only after solidly building a connection with a customer will a brand earn a transaction from a customer. (The catchy acronym for all this is A.C.T. – Attraction | Connection | Transaction.)

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IMPORTANT NOTE: This Marketing Courtship Process works to develop a long-term transactional relationship lasting a few years. It doesn’t work to develop a life-long transactional relationship with customers. You see, I do not believe life-long brand loyalty exists. Think about it. How many brands are you LOYAL to for life? Don’t kid yourself by saying you are brand loyal to anything, cause chances are, you ain’t.

When I was in my early 20s, I thought I was loyal-for-life to Tommy Hilfiger. Nope. I’ve since moved on. In my late 20s I thought I was loyal-for-life to Met-Rx. Nope, I’ve since moved on. In my 30s, I thought that I was loyal-for-life to Hewlett-Packard. Nope, I’ve since moved on.

We marketers need to get real. Brand loyalty-for-life rarely happens, if ever. Instead, we need to be happy with brand loyalty lasting for a few years. You with me?

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So this ACT Marketing Courtship Process sounds simple, but it’s tough to do, Let’s break this down.

ATTRACTION
We’ve already touched upon how to attract the attention of customers. Brands must be interesting to get customers interested. However, brands must follow-through on the image they project through marketing with the buying experience customers go through.

The challenge we marketers face is the issue of Congruence. The style a brand displays when attracting customers must be congruent with how customers interact with the brand during all touch-points. If a brand marketing style isn’t congruent with their business style, incongruence develops and attraction will not happen.

Take Wendy’s. Their current Red Wig gambit of outlandish advertising is incongruent with its business style. When you experience Wendy’s, do you see this offbeat personality exhibited inside its locations? Nope, you don’t.

Apple is congruent with all its attraction-getting marketing moves. It’s advertising style is congruent with its business style. Customers are genuinely attracted to Apple because what customers see, they experience. From the packaging, to the signage, to the interaction with Apple employees, Apple follows through on what its marketing promises through its actions.

CONNECTION
It is not enough for a customer to be attracted to a brand. The customer must become invested in the conversation because the more time a customer spends interacting with a brand, the more likely that customers will want to begin a transactional relationship.

My advice? Be playful, be challenging, and be unpredictably predictable.

Be a playful brand. Customers do not want their brands to take themselves too serious. (Think ESPN’s long-running advertising campaign.)

Be a challenging brand. Customers want to tango, they want a give and take relationship and not one-sided take relationship. (Think Whole Foods Market. It ain’t easy to shop there because the brands they sell are so different. Try buying chips and salsa and you’ll be hard-pressed to recognize a brand. Yet, we welcome this challenge.)

Be a predictably unpredictable brand. Customers are turned off by complacent brands. They value brands that are willing to take calculated risks. (Think Starbucks and their recent iTunes in-store marketing program—unexpected, but cool.)

TRANSACTION
The result of first capturing attention with customers and then building a connection with them is the earning of a transactional relationship.

That’s the Marketing Courtship Process. However, I see far too many marketers mess up this sequencing process. More to come in the next post.

** END OF PART FOUR **

Pick-Up Lines Don’t Work

While John is away, Skyon, a master marketing pick-up artist, will be sharing his provocative approach to attracting customers and earning transactions from them.

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Marketers have been trained to stalk their customer targets. They desperately try to attract the attention of customers at every turn. Customers continuously give companies the cold shoulder. They fast-forward past advertising with their DVR. They download AdBlockerPlus to eradicate online advertising that pops ups and under from websites. They ignore advertising signage on airline security trays. All of this ad creep and ad clutter are failed pick-up lines.

Customers reject pick-up lines from companies, just like women will reject pick-up lines from guys. Think about it, Pick-up lines don’t work. They might get a customer’s attention for a nano-second, which is just long enough for a customer to see through their play in order to reject their unwanted advances.

Consider the Super Bowl. Advertisers pay millions to throw a cheesy pick-up at customers. Sure, we might laugh at a Super Bowl ad but we have no recall of the brand … just the recall of us chuckling over the funny,

Marketers need to stop delivering clever pick-up lines to customers and instead, start building a connection with customers.

It is not enough for a customer to be attracted to a brand. The customer must become invested in the conversation because the more time a customer spends interacting with a brand, the more likely that customers will want to begin a transactional relationship.

My advice? Be playful, be challenging, and be unpredictably predictable.

Be a playful brand. Customers do not want their brands to take themselves too serious.

Be a challenging brand. Customers want to tango, they want a give and take relationship and not one-sided take relationship.

Be a predictably unpredictable brand. Customers are turned off by complacent brands. They value brands that are willing to take calculated risks.

Keeping a customer involved in a transactional relationship is an on-going process. You cannot keep a customer on-the-shelf and simply use them whenever you need a sale. No. Customers need attention, love, cuddling, etc.

Customers believe brands are an unlimited resource with new or different brands always entering in their consideration set. That’s why it is imperative for marketers to go beyond trying to capture attraction with shallow pick-up lines to building a connection through an on-going playful conversation.

** END OF PART FOUR **

To Win, You Must be Willing to Lose

While John is away, Skyon, a master marketing pick-up artist, will be sharing his provocative approach to attracting customers and earning transactions from them.

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As a marketing pick-up artist, I’ve learned a lot of lessons about how to attract customers to earn a transaction from them. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the notion that to get a customer, a marketer must be willing to lose a customer.

This advice is counter to practically everything marketers have been taught. We’ve been taught to do whatever it takes to not lose a customer. To always say YES to customers. To always kowtow to every whim of every customer. To always believe every customer knows best.

Abercrombie & Fitch doesn’t kowtow to customers. Neither does American Apparel. Both retailers have a strong point of view that repels just as many customers as it attracts. Each company projects images of super-casual and super-sexy to some and images of super-grungy and super-slutty to others. Abercrombie & Fitch and American Apparel aren’t afraid to piss off some customers because they know other customers will be attracted to the style they project.

Costco wins customers by losing customers. Its membership model shuns some customers not willing to pay the yearly membership fee. Costco also goes about its merchandise mix in an altogether different manner. Many retailers are afraid not to offer customers endless variety. Go to Target, you’ll see an aisle full of toothpaste brands in every size imaginable. Go to Costco and you’ll be lucky to see more than one brand of toothpaste and that one brand will come in one size at one unbelievable price. Costco wins customers because they are willing to lose customers. Shoppers at Costco willingly forgo choices for lower prices.

Here’s the dealio, don’t worry if some customers hate your brand. That’s actually a good sign. Starbucks has haters, but they also have fans. Wal-Mart has haters, but they also have fans. MTV has haters, but they also have fans. When your brand has a strong point of view, it will attract some and repel some.

We know a brand cannot be all things to all people. So when a brand is loved by some people, that’s a great thing. And where there is love, there is hate. Where there are winners, there are losers.

As a pick-up artist, you don't always score. When you enter into conversations with the opposite sex (known in the game as "sets"), some people will be attracted to your style and others won't. Pick-up artists are able to see dead-ends before they happen and thus, they jump off one set and open another set. Marketers need to get better at understanding when a customer isn't interested and jump off that set and open another set with a different customer.

Don’t be afraid to showcase your brand’s distinct style and personality because winning brands have a strong point of view that attracts evangelists. And yes marketers, if you do your job correctly, vigilantes will also be present.

Don’t focus on the haters. Focus on the lovers. That’s some of the best advice I’ve learned as a master marketing pick-up artist.

** END OF PART THREE **

Attracting, Not Seducing Customers

While John is away, Skyon, a master marketing pick-up artist, will be sharing his provocative approach to attracting customers and earning transactions from them.

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Yesterday I clued you in on how I found success as a marketer — I flirt with customers. Yep, I’m a marketing pick-up artist.

Wait. Don’t dismiss me as being a repulsive snake oil salesman who will say anything to get a customer to make an impulse purchase. The last thing I want to be guilty of is triggering a customer to buy something on a whim only to wake up the next morning with buyer’s remorse. That’s not my modus operandi.

A true marketing pick-up artist isn’t interested in one-night brand stands. No. A true marketing pick-up artist is into building a connection with customers that not only earns a transaction, but also earns a relationship where a series of transactions will take place over a prolonged period time.

A true marketing pick-up artist only targets customers that they want to build a lasting transactional relationship with and not just a one-time blip on the sales meter.

A true marketing pick-up artist is an attractor, not a seducer. Focusing on attraction means marketers will improve the personality and performance of a brand to the point that customers are genuinely fascinated with the brand. Inherent with marketing moves of seduction is the implication of dishonesty, trickery, and brand greed. Seduction happens when a brand over-promises and under-delivers.

Cereality attracts customers, they don’t seduce customers. The experience of ordering a made-to-order bowl of cereal with Cocoa Puffs, Quisp, and Frosted Mini-Wheats is so attractive, customers return again and again.

Anthropologie attracts customers, they don’t seduce customers. The artistic window displays at Anthropologie beckons customers to enter and once they do enter, they always find an intoxicating merchandise mix of garments and accessories.

Scion attracts customers, they don’t seduce customers. Their cars look funky and that funkiness attracts customers to lay down some money to get behind the wheel of a boxy Scion car.

Genuine attraction happens when customers see, feel, and experience moments when a brand delivers on what it promises. But seduction also happens.

Bed, Bath, and Beyond seduces customers by mailing out 20% OFF coupons to customers. The marketing department at BBY isn’t interested in developing a long-term relationship with people. Nope. The 20% OFF gambit is a marketing booty call. BBY wants you to lay down and make a purchase TODAY on some big ticket item. And chances are good the next morning that customer will wake up with buyer’s remorse knowing they didn’t need to buy a self-inflating mattress.

Countrywide seduced credit-risky customers into signing a variable-rate interest mortgage rates. Thousands upon thousands of cash-starved people now regret ever getting in bed with Countrywide.

Customers aren’t interested in one-night brand stands. And neither is a true marketing pick-up artist. A true marketing pick-up artist wants to develop on-going transactional relationships with customers.

** END OF PART TWO **

Skyon, a Marketing Pick-Up Artist

Hey everyone, Skyon here and just as johnmoore said, I’m hijacking his blog while he’s away.

I’m not a blogger. However, I am big-time lurker in the blog world. And since I’ve taken a lot from you, it’s time for me to give back to you.

While John is tending to business elsewhere, I’m going to share my approach to marketing. On the surface, my approach is sure to piss off a lot of you. But if you give me a few days, I hope to show you how my approach to marketing isn’t repulsive. In fact, it’s a more effective way to attract customers and earn transactions from them. But the reality is many of you will be turned off because I consider myself a Marketing Pick-Up Artist.

In the business circles I run in, many people consider me a Master Marketing Pick-Up Artist. But I didn’t used to be. I used to be a marketer whose aspirations were bigger than their accomplishments.

When I was a younger marketer, I had aspirations to be a whiz-bang brand-builder that was able to get customers to spend money on whatever brand I marketed. I put together well-reasoned marketing plans with tactics galore designed to acquire customers. I spent millions on advertising campaigns that maximized reach and frequency. I sat behind the glass mirror listening to customers in hundreds of focus groups. I crafted snazzy PowerPoint decks that Sr. Execs would drool over and then hand-over their car keys so that I could drive the success of a marketing program. Problem was, I looked the part of a master marketer but my results were anything but.

It wasn’t until I studied the writings of Marketing Professor Stephen Brown did I begin to hone my marketing abilities. Stephen approaches the art of marketing from a skewed angle. In his underground Harvard Business Review article, TORMENT YOUR CUSTOMERS, Stephen shot a marketing missive across the business bow by writing,

“Everyone in business today seems to take it as a God-given truth that companies were put on this earth for one purpose alone: to pander to customers. Marketers spend all their time slavishly tracking the needs of buyers, then meticulously crafting products and pitches to satisfy them. Marketing has become a sober-sided discipline. It has lost its sense of fun. It has forgotten how to flirt.”

Marketing has forgotten how to flirt. A brilliant line that has forever changed my marketing life. I now approach marketing like we all do (or did) in flirting with the opposite sex in nightclubs. Yes, my approach to marketing is similar to how the best pick-up artists market themselves to people at a bar.

Before you scoff and hurl surly names at me, you need to wake up and realize Marketing is Pick-Up. Marketing is getting customers to like the brands we market. We pick attractive customers and if we do our job right, we pick-up customers as they pick-up the brands we market to them. Marketing is indeed pick-up.

Once I understood marketing is pick-up, my whole game changed and the success that once alluded me, began surrounding me.
** END OF PART ONE **