Brand Loyalty Matrimony

All this chatter on lovemarks, loyalty, and brands reminds me of a post Williams+Moore did as guest hosts on the FC Now blog back in December. We titled the post Customer Loyalty Matrimony and we asked these two questions:

Is there a brand you feel so strongly about, from a value relationship and an emotional relationship, you would declare your unconditional loyalty to?

Is there a brand you would marry?

I’ve tweaked our original post slightly to better reflect loyalty to a brand and not to a company. Read below and let us know if there is a brand you would marry. And if so, what “pet name” would you give the brand name you marry?

Brand Loyalty Matrimony Ceremony

We are gathered here today to unite this customer, {insert Customer name}, with this brand, {insert Brand name}, in the bonds of a true reciprocal relationship known as brand loyalty matrimony.

If any competing brand or any customer evangelist can show just cause why these two should not be joined, then let them speak now or forever lose the business opportunity.

{Customer name}, will you take this brand as your partner to engage in commerce with in the holy estate of brand loyalty matrimony? Will you evangelize her, respect her, provide customer feedback to her in good experiences and in bad experiences; forsaking all others, be true to her as long as you both shall live? (I will.)

{Brand name}, will you take this customer as your partner to engage in commerce with in the holy estate of brand loyalty matrimony? Will you respect her, deliver upon all promises to her, be truthful to her and reward her with the highest quality goods or services and the best customer service in good economic times and in bad economic times as long as you both shall live? (I will.)

Please join hands and repeat after me (customer first).

I, {Customer name}, take {Brand name},as my loyal brand of choice to buy from and to evangelize for from this day forward until bankruptcy do us part.

I, {Brand name}, take {Customer name}, as a loyal customer to help them actualize their aspirations and to deliver the greatest value to from this day forward until bankruptcy do us part.

By the authority vested in me from the writings of Kevin Roberts, I pronounce this consumer and this brand to be loyal to one another.

You may now kiss competitors good-bye.

Comments

[Paul (from Brand Autopsy)]

I found some receipts on the floor... I think my brand is cheating on me and 'doing business' with others...

[johnmoore (from Brand Autopsy)]

I can just picture a depressed Brand Examiner Paul hunched over his hi-fi, receipts in hand, swaying and singing made-up lyrics to Billie Holiday’s "Fine and Mellow" ...

My brand, don't love me
Treats me oh so mean
My brand, she don't love me
Treats me awful mean
She's the lowest brand
That I've ever seen

She wears nice couture
Stripes are really yellow
She wears nice couture
Stripes are really yellow
She wears nice couture
Stripes are really yellow
But when she starts in to love me
She's so fine and mellow

Brands will make you splurge and gorge
Make you stay out all night long
Brands will make you splurge and gorge
Make you stay out all night long
Brands will make you splurge and gorge
Make you stay out all night long
Brands will make you do things
That you know is wrong

But if you treat me right, baby
I'll buy you every day
But if you treat me right, baby
I'll buy you every day
But you're so mean to me, baby
I know you're gonna drive me away

Loving a brand is just like a faucet
It turns off and on
Loving a brand is like a faucet
It turns off and on
Sometimes when you think it's on, baby
It has turned off and gone