Glitch in the Pitch II

Last January I wrote about receiving a pitch document from an advertising agency that failed miserably in marketing to me. Yet, despite not being able to craft a convincing marketing message to impact me, the agency felt they could craft marketing messages that would impact our customers. A glitch in the pitch.

The latest glitch in the pitch example comes from a customer loyalty firm that managed to capture my attention with a very ingenious pitch document.

This is a very official looking patient file from Loyalty General Hospital complete with x-rays.

(My attention is officially captured.)

So, I open the file to find out the x-rays belong to me … this is my patient file from Loyalty General Hospital. (Nice touch with the hand-written patient name and the checked-boxes. And the x-ray? Look again, it is not giving me the bird.)

The copy under the PRESENT CONDITION header reads:
Patient presents a protracted crossing of the second and third phalanges and metacarpals of the right hand resulting from prolonged wishing and hoping for measurable marketing results. General appearance upon admission is marked by anxiety, nervousness, and unexplained repetition of the question, “who moved my cheese?”

Flip the X-Ray results page up and I learn of my diagnosis – I’m suffering from chronic wishful thinking, hyper-extended budget, and acute hypodigitis (painfully low numbers).

And, my file also contains a plausibly handwritten prescription from two Loyalty General Hospital doctors. The prescription reads: Patient should consult with a team of relationship marketing experts who can eliminate the chronic need for wishful thinking. Ingest a large does of reality and call Dr. Branson at (XXX) XXX-XXXX for a full examination.

I give this pitch document mucho kudos for its creativity and its ability to capture my attention. This is one of the best, most ingenious pitches I have received.

However, the pitch failed and it failed for many reasons. First, one has to dig deep to find out that the company pitching me is not Loyalty General Hospital. Second, no website address is mentioned. (I would like to learn more about this loyalty firm’s approach to designing measurable marketing programs before calling them.) But the biggest reason this pitch failed is … the company put cleverness before the communication.

The pitch is far too clever for its own good. And that is the glitch in the pitch.

Comments

[anonymous]

Too clever for its own good? What exactly do you mean?

[johnmoore (from Brand Autopsy)]

In other, hopefully more clarifying, language … the pitch put being CLEVER before being CLEAR.

The message, i.e. the pitch, got lost in its cleverness.

The pitch created awareness, but that awareness didn’t lead me to action. It didn’t lead me to action because I was too caught up in the cleverness of the pitch.

In marketing, one should never put cleverness before the message. This pitch document violated that rule. And thus, a glitch in the pitch.

That’s my take ... what’s yours?

[SU]

I bet the agency/marketer is suffering from acute creative dysentry, mal communication with a clear diagnosis of marketing neurosis. Phew! Well consumers/buyers want helpful information, consciously or subconsciously. Our (marketers) job is to present it best in an uncluttered manner but not so much to cut clutter as to make it a creative wall hanger. Design is to flacilitate communication not drown or block it. Logic should prevail :)

[S]

I am really enoying your writing.

I have some questions regarding the pitch glitch. Is the core concept of "clever marketing" viable? Would there have been a way to take the medical chart idea and turn it into a viable marketing vehicle. I am guessing that it was a very expensive document to put together, so that probably put a big dent in the ROI, unless it generated a really good response rate.

Thanks.

[johnmoore (from Brand Autopsy)]

The quick answer to your question is … being clever is one way a marketer can break through the clutter.

In my opinion, really good marketing combines substance with style and really bad marketing is all style and no substance. I’ve come to believe, through experience and through study, that consumers can see through the smoke and mirrors of marketing that is all style and no substance.

As a marketing vehicle, the x-ray idea was clever and it caught my attention. But I quickly realized that the pitch was all about being clever and not about telling me how Hallmark Loyalty works to improve the customer loyalty programs of its clients.

If I was the director of New Business Development for Hallmark Loyalty, I would use the clever x-ray idea but change the angle of the pitch to be a case study of one of their clients. Make it a before/after pitch. Before seeing Hallmark Loyalty, Company (A) suffered from “customer defectionitis.” Back that up with the x-rays and other appropriate medical analogies to state the case. Included in the medical analogies should be the prescription given to Company (A) on how to increase/improve their customer loyalty problems. Then, the pitch should show a follow-up x-ray to show that Company (A) has been healed through the capable hands of Hallmark Loyalty.

To me … that would improve the pitch because it would better solve for telling the Hallmark Loyalty story with style and with substance.