Brand Autopsy

John Moore – self-appointed Public Radio Program Director

I’m appointing myself as Program Director for KWAK-FM, a fictitious public radio station broadcasting in the blogosphere.

My first act as KWAK-FM Program Director is to liven up the pledge drive.

Since today is April Fools Day, KWAK-FM will spoof commercial radio by changing the tone of KWAK-FM into that of a commercial radio station. We will incessantly refer to KWAK-FM as the “All New. All Hits. KWAK-FM.”

During all local breaks from NPR programming, KWAK-FM on-air news and local mentions will be delivered by our new lead anchor, Jammin’ Jay Michaels. JJM will add excitement to the All New, All Hits, KWAK-FM by delivering the local news in an overly enthusiastic and utterly irritating manner under a bed of throbbing dance music. And, Jammin’ Jay Michaels will engage in sexually-suggestive flirtatious dialogue with Suzie Raspberry, our new traffic and weather update talent.

To incentify first-time subscribers, Morey Livingston from Morey’s Auto-Tint Superstore will give one lucky first-time subscriber a free auto-tint, free cellular phone, and a free “Pimp My Ride” car makeover.

Satirically accentuating the uniqueness of public radio is a sure-fire way to clearly demonstrate the dramatic difference between commercial radio and public radio. So much so that … listeners may be more apt to donate. Dig?

Lighten up Public Radio and have fun with your pledge drives!

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Comments

I'm writing you a check right now for $100... and my employer matches my donation - so that's $200 for your format.

Thank you MR. WILLIAMS for your generous pledge. With your $100 COMMITMENT to KWAK-FM, you have joined an elite group of influential listeners known as the KWAK BOX.

Once we receive your check, money order, or credit card payment, KWAK-FM will rush deliver you a handsome KWAK-FM CANVAS TOTE BAG.

Please send your pledge money to my attention at:

601 West 13th Street
Box #265
Austin, TX 78703

John Moore
KWAK-FM
Self-appointed Program Director

Don't know if you're aware of it or not, but there is a KWAK AM that's been around about 50 years or so. It's located in Stuttgart, AR, which bills itself as "The Duck Capitol of the World" and, in fact, fall's big celebration is the World Duck Calling Competition.

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